LA is safer than Downers Grove

For the first time in my years in Los Angeles, I'm terrified of going home. I actually feel safer in LA than DG..which...is ridiculous. Emotionally safer of course. Most of you know what's going on, and if not, I'm sure you can gather. The issues at home, with my dad, seem so far away from here...it's easier for me to be critical of him, and strong from here. I can always stay just a little bit emotionally removed here...I dont have to see him in a hospital bed, and I dont have to see all the work my mom has piling up, and I have this completely separate life I can dive into. Of course, it's always on my mind, but it's different. As soon as I get there, I'm in it. There is no emotional distance. This time feels different than the others - it feels worse and more serious. I hope I can be strong. No one in my family ever expects me to be strong because I've always been the baby. This time, I expect myself to be and I'm not sure I can. Blah.