Fri-diculous

I usually pick out and only eat the chocolate candy from trail mix. I think I’m doing it wrong.

I have a friend (not my brother) who works at Pabst, and is too lazy to bring beer to a BYO place. That’s like me being too lazy to take ugly promo t-shirts to a BYO Ugly T-shirt Party.

Do you think the cast of the original 90210 watches the new 90210? Or are they like, “the entire concept of this show sucks.”

I think if I wrote a book, it would be called Drunk From Last Night.

Some of my friends have been victims of a hacked Facebook account – I can only guess because they clicked some link in an overly-excited message they received from another friend? These friends disappoint me.
I’m usually pretty good at picking out one of these spam messages (poor grammar, excessive exclamation marks) but I think I’m a little overly sensitive. Recently, I forwarded a message back to a sender, asking her if it was spam. She seemed offended.

There is often some sort of protest happening outside my office building. All it really motivates me to do is to turn my music up.

I hate the HIMYM opening credits trickery. It’s totally not DVR friendly.

There needs to be a set rule for how long you should sit at a table before getting up to go to a buffet. Is it right after you order drinks? Do you wait a few seconds after ordering drinks? You feel like a fatass if you don’t wait, but honestly, what’s the point of waiting? It’s awkward and needs a solution.