breathing deep

So it's over. The wake was yesterday and cremation today. It was a blur and I knew it would be. The next few days are going to be even harder - when all the family leaves and the continuous laughter stops and the three of us are left to grieve alone. And I'm out of tears. My heart is weeping and aching so deeply and I don't think there's a word for the emotions I'm experiencing and sensing right now. But I'm numb. I'm so numb from the last week, that I can't let my weeping heart sob externally anymore. So how will I get through this? And it's not a matter of being strong for myself or my family. I just want to get rid of the numbness to let my heart cry.