This post is really long (TWSS)

When I was younger, and a friend told me about a crush she had, the first thing I’d do is figure out what her new married name would be. Now, I try to devise her best possible wedding website URL.

I don’t think I’ll ever understand why so many people hate Subway so much. It’s a perfectly fine lunch! The oregano on my sandwich did taste a little bit like soap today, but it was one of those gas station-adjacent Subways, so I’ll let it slide.

I think I finally figured out how to describe my favorite music genre. It’s basically the music in auto commercials and movie trailers. Phoenix in that Cadillac ad, I swear I heard Owl City in something, that Snow Patrol song in the Dear John trailer. Yesterday, I even caught Beirut’s No Dice (one of my all-time faves) in a GMC commercial. If only this were a real genre…

Nowadays, the only job postings I’ll come across are for managers of social media marketing…and they always want like 5-10 years of experience. I don’t think this position existed 5 years ago…unless you want to count posting Friendster wall testimonials?

Haha, remember testimonials?

I dislike the gym at the start of the year. Is it February yet? I’d like to fast forward to the days of no time limit on the treadmill.

I watched a lot of Food Network informercials over the holidays. This brownie cutter really caught my eye and cut my soul the most. I mean, really?! https://www.perfectbrownie.tv/flare/next?tag=os|sm|go

I hate it when people ask me to get married/have a wedding so they can eat Indian food. We could just go to a restaurant.

It’s amazing how keeping in touch with friends no longer depends on WHERE you live, but rather in which social networks and online communities you reside. For example, my gchat buddies are my virtual besties, then facebook….haha maybe it’s just me.

Remember when I got trapped in my fire escape? AKA Chicago Avenue Death Trap.

In the last 12 hours, I've heard Chumbawamba’s Tubthumping twice on the same radio station. I don’t get it… are the people of Holland, MI really calling in and requesting this song?!

On the same station, I heard a gentleman call in and ask, “what’s that song where in the background they sing ‘can’t help it, the girl can’t help it’?” The DJ was like…you mean, Clumsy, by Fergie? And he was like, yeah, now who’s that? Fergie? I love that composition!
a) Hey dude, welcome to 2006
2) Congrats, Fergie. Someone just referred to one of your songs as a composition.

I'd rather be eating mac'n'cheese.

I miss the days when it mattered if there was perfect packing snow outside.

Whenever I have security challenge questions online, I fail to answer the subjective ones correctly. I NEVER ever answer “On what street was your favorite residence” or “First name of your childhood best friend” correctly. How about some fact-based questions?

I hate it when you’re on a work-related phone call, and the person has made their point, and you have acknowledged and agreed and are ready to hang up, and the person starts to REITERATE his point. I’m all, “DUH. How bout you let me finish eating my graham cracker now?”

One of these days, I’ll have to get a photograph of me uncovering my car from snow, after it’s been parked outside all night. It’s pretty hilarious.

I’m literally petrified of group fitness classes. I lack the coordination to render them effective.

Your friends who work in satellite offices don't get holiday parties or special holiday lunches. Appreciate yours, no matter how many married drunk coworkers make passes at you.